i dont just take naps i accidentally hibernate
ellen degeneres can host my funeral
do you ever wanna listen to music but every song is just not the right song
This is like installing Windows on a Mac.
maybe the reason why some of us stay up all night and sleep all day is because we were meant to live on the other side of the planet
….This makes a disturbing amount of sense…
in america fanny means butt because we don’t have vaginas. the government refuses to acknowledge their existence.
hands over ownership of this post 2 u
|—||J.K. Rowling (via kushandwizdom)|
girls who can run in heels should be feared
OMG NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *dead*
This is Chester. When I was in Afghanistan I got a care package from one of those “Adopt a Soldier” programs that lets families send care packages to service men and women who are deployed overseas. Anyway, I got this care package, and it came with the usual stuff: Baby wipes, crackers, peanut butter, the Dad threw in a pack of cigarettes, and there was some jerky. But there was also a little beanie baby gold fish and a hand written note from a 7 year old girl that said
“Dear Soldier, (I wasn’t even mad)
I hope you are doing well. I’m sorry you have to miss thanksgiving with your family. This is my friend Chester. He keeps me safe from monsters, but I think you need him more than I do. I hope he keeps you safe from the monsters you’re fighting. Take good care of him for me”.
You bet your ass that little fish was in my pocket every time I went on patrol.